Eater of Poo

This is so gross.  Really - if you're feeling somewhat not able to handle a poo story - move on.

J took the older two downstairs to get them bathed and ready for bed.  I was in charge of M.  I got him naked, put him the tub, knelt down to get things ready, when I realized that his baby soap was in the kitchen.  I left him in the tub (the water was not on, people - relax) while I ran to get the soap.  I was gone for maybe 20 seconds.  When I got back into the bathroom I glanced at M to make sure he was alright.  He was squatting in the empty tub, just playing with his toys.  At this precise moment, I started to smell something akin to rotting corpses.  Upon closer inspection, I came to the horrible realization that M was squatting over a big pile of fresh poo.  I moved as fast as I could -but it wasn't quick enough.

He reached down, grabbed a handful, and put it in his mouth.

I screamed, yelled at him to stop, and then I screamed some more.  I yelled for J to get "upstairs now!"  J came running.  It took him about 30 seconds to survey the scene.  When he saw M chewing something, he immediately understood the gravity of the situation.  By this time, M had stood up and kind of walked around a bit.  So you can imagine the brown-streaked state my tub was in.

J held up M by the armpits while I wiped out the tub with some clorox wipes.  Thank goodness for clorox wipes.  I need to buy stock in that company.  John, decided to do M a favor by wiping out his mouth.  Let it be sufficient enough to say that M's molars were caked with brown matter.  J, likened it to when the back of your tongue gets all red from eating too many red vines.  Except in this case, the back of M's tongue was brown.  Oh, the horror.

We got him cleaned up when it suddenly dawned on me - I usually nurse M before I put him to bed.  I have never wanted to NOT NURSE as bad as that night.  Ugh.