The Great Diaper Debacle

Saturday morning. 7:45am.

Kids are awake and the family is heading downstairs for breakfast. I asked J to change F's diaper on his way down. Usually we'll keep F in his jammies until after breakfast so he doesn't get a perfectly clean outfit dirty. He had on his Carters fleece footed pajamas that zip up.

Saturday morning 8:20am.

C tells me that F stinks. She says this as F is crawling towards me in the kitchen. I am cooking scrambled eggs and sausage for breakfast. I pick F up and hand him to J with instructions for J to take him back upstairs and change his diaper.

Saturday morning 8:22am.

J takes F and walks upstairs. As he walking through the living room, he tells me that F's diaper has leaked and he has poo everywhere. Whatever - just change him. Poo blowouts are not that uncommon. They happen to the best of us . . . .

Saturday morning 8:25am.

J flips out and starts yelling my name. He frantically tells me to come upstairs and help him. Now, if i had a dollar for every time I have cleaned up after an especially nasty #2 - I'd be rich. I told J to just deal with it. J INSISTS that I come up. His exact words: "I forgot to put a diaper on him this morning." WHAT?????????????????

Saturday morning 8:26am.

I run upstairs as fast as I can. F is so mad at this point. J is standing next to the changing table with a dumbfounded look on his face. I step up to the table to assess the damage and WOW. F was covered in poo from his chest, all the way down. Both legs and into the foot parts of his pajamas. EVERYWHERE. I could go on and describe this even further, but I don't want to make the reader barf. Suffice it to say - UNBELIEVABLE.

J, being so totally helpful, forgot to put a clean diaper on F when he changed him before breakfast. So, he takes off the wet overnight diaper, puts it into the diaper pail, zips up F's jammies and sends him on his merry way - naked bum and all. HELLO?!?

The pajamas were a total loss. They were like $7 at costco and let me tell you - it would take a lot more than $7 to get me to clean them. I wasn't gonna touch that. So, F got a bath this morning. A really, really good bath.

I am planning on putting up a sheet with step-by-step instructions on the proper way of actually diapering a child somewhere near the changing table. J thinks this is evidence enough and that he should never have to change another diaper. I just think he needs way more practice.